Me vs. The Printer

Today I am exhausted. Not because I ran a marathon or anything like that. No, instead I physically battled the printer at work today. It was touch and go for a while and I definitely felt the cloud of failure looming over me but eventually perseverance won out. So here is what happened...

4:00 rolled around and the office is becoming increasingly quiet as one of our brokers (and a fellow Wofford grad) approached my desk and asks if I can type a few letters for him. I foolishly ask if he would like me to go ahead and type the envelopes as well (way to be an over-achiever Mary) and he says "Oh yea! That'd be great". Super. So I print the letters on our company letterhead. No problemo. Now onto the envelopes. Once I set it so that the font on the letter and the envelopes match I load the first envelope into the printer and think I will be sitting pretty until I can leave at 5:15. FALSE. This probably what I looked like 5 minutes later...


FAIL.

Exaggeration you say? No. The printer in convinced  there is a paper jam. Um, there is no paper in the printer. I proceed to open the printer up, hit cancel a few times, continue a few times, open the printer up again, hit cancel...you get the idea. The printer (I will eventually name this "machine" but I will not do so in a state of rage because my parents read this blog) is telling me to load my paper, this is exactly what I think I am doing as I am feeding the envelopes in one by one. Failure continues. It is now 5:15, the office is dark. I have now [not so gently] hit the printer a few times and may or may not have stomped my feet on the ground...Anyhoo, I finally realize the trick is to feed the envelope in, hit print, wait for the printer to tell me to load my paper, pull the envelope back out and then feed it in again. Yup. Cool. Eventually I get these bad boys printed, proudly walk back to the broker's office and hand him the letters and envelopes. He looks up from his desk and says "Thanks Mary, I really appreciate it. I was just running behind today". This of course is a very sincere thank-you but inside I wanted someone to jump with with balloons and say "Mary! You are genius! This is the greatest thing ever! And not just ever today but ever in the whole wide world!!!". Instead, I tell him it was my pleasure and I will see him tomorrow. Woe is me.

Moral of the story: If you want me to print something, please allot at least an hour and a chance for me to be alone with the printer with no small children around as I would not want my language to offend. And I guess I should work on that whole "Patience is a virtue" thing. Thanks for reading!

Mary

Mary Monk?

I don't know if anyone else remembers the USA show "Monk" but I (along with several family and friends) am convinced that I am related to the main character, Detective Adrian Monk. After the violent murder of his beloved wife Trudy, Monk's obsessive-compulsive tendencies became more pronounced. Now, I am not making light of this disorder but I remember watching "Monk" with my father as Monk straightened magazines, evening out pots of coffee (even if it meant mixing regular with decaf), untwisting the phone cord, and finding myself saying "I don't think that's so odd, I do that".

Apparently this is not normal.



I have absolutely 100% done this at a restaurant before.

So today at work as I found myself organizing writing utensils in different mugs on my desk with one cup for pencils, one for pens, and one for highlighters I then set to the task of separating paper clips by size. WHO AM I!?! Another incident occurred on Sunday morning at the annual Richardson Homecoming brunch when Blair watched as I opened a Halloween chocolate wrapped in aluminum foil (careful not to rip the foil, duh) then proceeded to flatten out the foil using the arm of my chair until it is completely smooth finally folding the wrapper into a perfect little square (please keep in mind this is also after I have confessed to the group that I dressed up as Anne of Green Gables for Halloween when I was younger, neat). So, am I Mary Monk? I think yes.

Do I have a color coded closet? Yes. Will I re-make my bed if the sheets are not even? You betcha. Have I used an entire container of hand sanitizer at work since last Monday? Duh. Did I line up my cereal boxes by height when I got home from the grocery store? Naturally. Do I think its great that November 1st happened to fall on a Monday this year so that the first of the month matches with the first day of the work week? Oh yeah. Basically, if I lose a few friends following this post I am won't take it personally. And in case, you were wondering, my Anne of Green Gables costume was awesome. Thanks for reading!

Mary

Bernie, I'm Hooome!

Wofford Homecoming is THIS weekend!!! I am super excited (as if the underlining and caps lock didn't give it away). When I was a junior in high school and my father insisted on visiting every single college in the southeast...ok a slight exaggeration but oh well, anyway, I owe my father a great deal because I firmly believe that my time at Wofford forever changed my future. When we arrived for our tour the weather was PERFECT. Birds were signing, flowers were blooming, etc. It was the Disney of colleges and I was in.


Greatest place on earth. Period.

I will be forever grateful for my time at Wofford and think that Homecoming is a celebration of that time, for all of the Wofford community. It is a very special place and I think the overwhelming amount of alumni that attend every year attest to that.  

Graduation. Sad day.

Friday night there is a band party downtown, Saturday is the football game vs. the Citadel (Go Terriers!) and then lots and lots of well-needed time with friends all weekend long. I am getting so excited that I can barely form sentences so this is the end for now. Thanks for reading!

Mary

Tiger Town

Now, as I have tried to make clear before, I am a Georgia Bulldog fan first and foremost. However, this fall Blair and I have been able to go to two Clemson games with our friends Sarah and Whitner and it has been so much fun. Besides all of the orange and the purple (well, mainly all the orange) the Clemson campus is beautiful and we always have a good time. Sarah is quite the tailgate chef so once we arrive we get our spot set up and we [Blair] inhales Sarah's famous ham biscuits and onion rolls. After lounging in the beautiful weather for a while we go into the game and the cheering begins. This past weekend Clemson took on the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. I say "took on" because it looked like the Tech just let Clemson drag them around the field like extra baggage. Sorry Tech...Not. Anyway, just wanted to share a few pictures from the weekend (You're welcome Mom)


Branch and Reath siblings.




Host and hostess sporting their Clemson colors.




Please note the neato visor in the bottom of this picture. The woman sitting next to her had a matching one. Yup.

 Always so much fun. Always leave sunburned and tired. If that's the price you pay for enjoying a football game then so be it. Thanks for reading!

Mary

Halloween for Breakfast?

At work on Friday we are having a "Halloween Breakfast". This is really throwing people off. So far people have signed up to bring muffins, breakfast casseroles, fruit, and Halloween cookies...that's right, cookies. Needless to say I think someone is going to have to roll me onto the elevator before 5:00 on Friday so I can make it to Wofford Homecoming. Apparently there is also a breakfast casserole bake-off happening so it is only fair that I sample them both, naturally.


I hope someone brings these. HINT HINT



And a pumpkin roll. Please and thank you.



Oh hello breakfast casserole, I'm Mary. We are going to be best friends.

I will happily report back about the "breakfast" once I recover from the food coma that I will undoubtedly slip into. Thanks for reading!

Mary

Sister!

My sister Laura is a junior at the University of Georgia and we have not seen each other since August. That is about to change because I GET TO SEE MY SISTER TOMORROW! Blair and I are going to the Clemson game tomorrow with a few friends and Laura is taking a bus up to Clemson with the Georgia Tech crowd (ew, Tech cooties). Regardless of our football affiliations I am so excited! I love love love this time of year and cannot wait to spend the day with friends, go to town at our tailgate feast (If you read the fair post you know how I feel about this kind of food), and see my long lost sister!

Thing 1 (me) and Thing 2 (Laura) soon to be reunited!

Also, my roommates and I saw Hootie and the Blowfish LIVE last night at their tribute concert in Five Points. No big deal. Definitely a sign it's going to be a wonderful weekend! Thanks for reading!

Mary

Fair Play

I LOVE THE FAIR!!! Well, I should clarify. I do not love feeling ill from everything that I consumed at the fair (which I shall list, I have no shame) but I love the lights, the music, being with friends, the rides, and the food. Did I already mention the food? Oh well. Candace, Marsha, and Sam are big fair advocates so last night we made the trip and it was a huge success! I mean how could it not be? Just look at the excitement...



Marsha and Sam are excited. I am sad I could not capture Marsha jumping for joy.

Upon entering the South Carolina State Fair the smell of unhealthy goodness was overwhelming. Candace and I both got corn dogs, Marsha picked up her chicken fingers and Sam and Candace invested in some french fries for the group. We ate at picnic tables in the food court and then decided it would be a good idea to begin our adventures on the rides (clearly a good idea after everything we just ate). Sam and Marsha, the real ride enthusiasts rode things with names like "Fireball" or "Space Roller". Candace and I were there for moral support until we rode the "Swing Tower"....which is exactly what it sounds like. As the swings (which you ride in pairs, Candace was my date) are being pulled up into the air and we can see the entire fair grounds from our seats Candace starts to say "Whoa dude, whoa dude, whoa dude!!!" The excitement was just too much.


Clearly we hated the food at the fair...not. Please note Marsha patiently waiting for her chicken fingers in the background.

 
Following our adventures on the swings Marsha, Sam, and Candace convinced me that I just had to ride the "Crazy Mouse". This was a cruel trick. This is a roller coaster, and I use that term loosely, in which the four of us sat in a little cart, me on the edge. Not ok. I felt like my body was going to be thrown from our cart over the fairgrounds and Marsha, Sam, and Candace just think this is sooo funny. This is exhibited in the photo that the "Crazy Mouse" is kind enough to snap of you. My face is that of pure terror, my friends think this could not be funnier. Candace and I also rode the Pharaoh boat ride (I don't remember its witty fair name) where a girl proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs the before the ride even started so Candace and I were laughing to hard to notice our stomachs were in our throats.

Success.

On our way out we decided we should get dessert. Obviously. So a few chocolate dipped cones and mini doughnuts later we finally made it home where we all promptly sank into a food coma. Our deepest thanks to the fair, we will meet again next year. Thanks for reading!

Mary